In my interactions with women, I have come to realize the importance of authenticity and personal growth. In the past, I often operated from a place of offense, seeking validation and recognition in every conversation. However, this stemmed from a lack of self-awareness and a desire to project a certain image of myself onto others. It took years of healing and introspection to truly meet and accept who I am.
Now, when engaging in conversations with women, I pay close attention to the emotions and yearnings that arise within me. While the content of the conversations may not always be different, my internal desires have undergone a transformation. Recently, during a conversation where someone expressed a truth that didn't align with mine, I noticed a significant shift within my body.
In that moment, I chose to remain silent and later took the time to reflect on my own needs. I listened to myself and felt the sensations in my heart and back, quietly asking myself what I needed to express. Initially, my response was that the other person was wrong. However, as I delved deeper, I examined the reasons behind my judgment, realizing that they had little to do with me personally. Some were simply differences in perspective, while others were unkind.
Further introspection led me to explore my emotional state, and I discovered the voice of my rejected 11-year-old self speaking within me. The word "wrong" triggered memories of being frequently criticized and questioned, with phrases like "what's wrong with you" or "you are wrong, do it over" echoing in my mind.
As someone who thrives on high performance, I have always strived to avoid being wrong. However, I am learning that making mistakes is part of being human. Acceptance, even when I'm "wrong," becomes more attainable as long as I am true to myself. Often, when we become offended by others in conversation, it is because we have neglected to listen to our own inner child. My 11-year-old self, who has experienced significant trauma, simply desires to be acknowledged and comforted, and that responsibility lies solely with me.
In conclusion, embracing authenticity and personal growth has allowed me to approach conversations with women from a place of self-awareness and compassion. By acknowledging and tending to my own needs, I can engage in more meaningful and respectful exchanges, while also nurturing the wounded parts of myself that long for healing and acceptance.