The Women Collaborative

"Poo"

This picture evokes mixed emotions in me - happiness and sadness. It's a representation of myself, a nickname my grandmother gave me, Poo, which still lives within me. Poo has been my protector, fighting for me, choosing partners and friends on my behalf for many years. But she also shielded herself from the pain she endured while wearing a smile on the outside.

Now, when I feel angry, Poo resurfaces, seeking comfort and reassurance. Instead of relying on others to provide that, I've learned to love and support Poo from within. I understand that my inner child is not here to protect me, but to be embraced and cherished by me.

Recently, I faced a daunting challenge of speaking at a convention. I felt inadequate among a group of esteemed career coaches. In my anxious state, I turned to Poo for answers, and she revealed her fear of being judged. With love and care, I comforted Poo, nurturing my inner child.

Taking a break from the conference, I spent time with myself, connecting with my body and

emotions. I found security and strength in the presence of my husband, baby, and dogs back

home. Returning to the convention, I faced the challenge head-on, guided by the lessons

learned from Poo.

In the end, my presentation was a success, and I received a standing ovation. This experience taught me an essential lesson - to connect with my body and face the difficult tasks, as blessings await on the other side.

Pressing In

In my interactions with women, I have come to realize the importance of authenticity and personal growth. In the past, I often operated from a place of offense, seeking validation and recognition in every conversation. However, this stemmed from a lack of self-awareness and a desire to project a certain image of myself onto others. It took years of healing and introspection to truly meet and accept who I am.

Now, when engaging in conversations with women, I pay close attention to the emotions and yearnings that arise within me. While the content of the conversations may not always be different, my internal desires have undergone a transformation. Recently, during a conversation where someone expressed a truth that didn't align with mine, I noticed a significant shift within my body.

In that moment, I chose to remain silent and later took the time to reflect on my own needs. I listened to myself and felt the sensations in my heart and back, quietly asking myself what I needed to express. Initially, my response was that the other person was wrong. However, as I delved deeper, I examined the reasons behind my judgment, realizing that they had little to do with me personally. Some were simply differences in perspective, while others were unkind.

Further introspection led me to explore my emotional state, and I discovered the voice of my rejected 11-year-old self speaking within me. The word "wrong" triggered memories of being frequently criticized and questioned, with phrases like "what's wrong with you" or "you are wrong, do it over" echoing in my mind.

As someone who thrives on high performance, I have always strived to avoid being wrong. However, I am learning that making mistakes is part of being human. Acceptance, even when I'm "wrong," becomes more attainable as long as I am true to myself. Often, when we become offended by others in conversation, it is because we have neglected to listen to our own inner child. My 11-year-old self, who has experienced significant trauma, simply desires to be acknowledged and comforted, and that responsibility lies solely with me.

In conclusion, embracing authenticity and personal growth has allowed me to approach conversations with women from a place of self-awareness and compassion. By acknowledging and tending to my own needs, I can engage in more meaningful and respectful exchanges, while also nurturing the wounded parts of myself that long for healing and acceptance.